coffee with . . . Tina Hetzler December 19, 2008
Posted by Lucas Skrobot in Coffee, God, seeing and hearing.Tags: Add new tag, Coffee, listen, Scum Of The Earth, seeing and hearing, Tina Hetzler
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I had the chance to grab coffee with Tina Hetzler this week and was compelled to share a few thoughts.
Tina Hetzler is not only an amazing person, but I have the pleasure of having her as an amazing friend. I’ve known Tina for three years. We met at a church called Scum Of The Earth through a small group named The Immaculate Sandwich—where we would simply make a sack lunch and walk up and down Colfax (a main/shady street in Denver Colorado) handing out food to the hungry and homeless, no strings attached. Tina and I would often walk and talk together, wrestling with this thing called life. There is a richness in our history and friendship that I often take for granted. Tina was one of a very select group of people who I had the privilege to run with each Sunday before church in sacrificial prayer. I can serious say, with tears in my eyes, that I am so honored to know and been able to labor along side of this faithful woman of God for these years.
This entry isn’t merely an accolade about the amazing Tina Hetzler. That said there is a particular character trait found in her that I haven’t noticed in many other people, and one that I have been trying to cultivate in my own life more: listening.
Tina listens like no one else I know. Many people don’t listen and just wait there turn to talk—a fear I am one of those people at times. Then there are people who hear but don’t have anything to say and are left with no read response or feed back because they didn’t really listen a truly don’t care. Many times that I have shared something of value with a person and I walked away in bewilderment with how they gave no response to what I shared, as if I just explained the molecular structure of a complex substance or was speaking in a different language. There have been other times where I have shared something and instead of deafening silence the person quickly responds shifting the subject without exerting effort into listening into what is being spoken. But Tina does neither.
Tina doesn’t only listen but she ponders what is said. Tonight, while walking along the Platte river a shared something in particular with her and she didn’t merely listen and comment but she listened and then once I was do
ne speaking and the silence wisped between us she continued to listen to what I had said chewing, gnawing and digesting a few thoughts of mine. She did this for a few minutes, and afterward didn’t have much to say but said that she would respond at some later time. I don’t believe I have ever felt more listened to, and I want to learn to listen like Tina Hetzler.
She took my words and churned them over in her mind without rushing a response or avoiding the effort of one. Listening in this manner is truly a skill and a gift.
coffee with . . . Anna Fajkowski December 1, 2008
Posted by Lucas Skrobot in Coffee, connection, life, seeing and hearing.Tags: Anna Fajkowski, Coffee, communication
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So Saturday afternoon I got a nice cup of coffee with my good friend Anna Fajkowski. I would definitely say Anna and I have a fairly interesting relationship. We meet a year and a half ago in the Mercury Cafe while swing dancing. She was spending her summer semester at CU Boulder, after spending a semester in London–and yet she goes to school in Boston, while finding her home in Washington DC. All of this swirled together in a pot makes for an interesting sort of friendship.
We see each other when she comes to Denver/Boulder to visit her mom, which is about twice a year, and we always go to the same starbucks and get some coffee.
This past Thanksgiving week Anna came to visit her family, and for some unknown reason this particular reunion was particularly sweet and full of joy. Maybe it was because of the holidays, maybe be it was because we haven’t see each other since the spring, or maybe because I’m about to leave for a tropical island in a month and we have no idea when we will share a nice hot cup of coffee again.
As we walked around our circle of conversation one interesting thought arose. We were talking abou
t people and companionship and family which lead to knowing people and naturally communication. In the midsts of this she told me about a friend who’s dad is a psychiatrists and when people come to talk to him instead of him just giving advise he listens and figures out the rules that exist in that specific person’s life. Anna went on to explain how everyone has their own unique world and each person has a certain rules of operation and expectations for people to live up to. So this man learns the rules of the person’s world and then proceeds to give advise based on those rules.
This stuck me as quite an interesting concept and it put some things, and some people, in my life in to a bit of perspective. There are some people who clearly have a vastly different set of rules that runs their friendship than I have, and often times I find the actions, or inaction, quite mind boggling–yet when I attempt to address the subject I find that the communication is totally lost in the static and all efforts are completely unproductive.
It may be wise to learn rules of other people’s worlds, not so that I can operate according to their rule book, but so that I can understand how they communicate–enabling me to communicate clearly to them addressing the actions that leave me mind boggled in a way that communicates care with out disregarding their rules. For often time once a person violates the laws of another persons world their words cease to be heard and offense is taken.
So what do you all, out in the cyber world think? What rules dictate the orbits of your life? And what do you do when a planet clearly forgets about gravity and just leaves your solar system, or centripetal force and comes crashing in upon you sun?
coffee with . . . Dan Craig November 8, 2008
Posted by Lucas Skrobot in Coffee, life, The Burn 24-7.Tags: Coffee, dreams, Focus, Music, The Burn 24-7
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Wednesday morning I got coffee with Dan Craig. Dan Craig is wonderfully skilled musician who all of you should know . . . well you should at least think about checking out his music.
In the midst of our conversation this particular thought came up: “if you are going to do something or be something, be the best at what you do. Put everything that you have into it. Never do anything halfway.” Often times committing to something and putting our all into it mean cutting other things out of our life. We so often try to hang on to two separate worlds, having our hands in many different pies, but there comes a day where you have to choose. Pumpkin or Apple pie? Left or right? Stay or go? It is not until we give out all and put everything we have into one of two dreams that our dreams are able to become a reality.
Dan Craig was going to med school and doing music on the side, but he had to make a choice between which one he wanted to pursue. He couldn’t have both worlds. He decided a year two ago that he was going to take a year and pursue music—his passion and dream. After a year he had another choice: back to school or stick with music. Dan kept school on the back burner as a back up plan. As I understand it, he chose to return to school. Now, after going back to school for year he is now taking another year off to chase this dream that pulls at the strings of his heart. At the end of this year he must decide once and for all whether he will return to medical school or take the plunge into music.
We are a generation that has our hands in so many different things that we do many different things fairly, but nothing excellently. We can function, but we don’t excel. We don’t excel because we don’t give ourselves fully over to one dream.
We essentially don’t commit to marry any one passion or dream—rather, we date around. Because of this we are left with mediocre lives full of greedy lustful desire for many dream, whoring our selves out to all of them, instead of having an abundantly life of excellence through marrying ourselves to one dream—one focus. We will not flourish until we choose which dream to pursue.
When we set our face, focus, and goal on one object so that we might be able to become the best there is we are able to break out the pull of gravity and we begin to not only excel but we begin to discover things that we never knew existed. Only once we dedicate our lives to one dream that our vision can grow and expand.
I have been holding onto multiple “dreams”. Excel as an assistant to a CEO of an up and coming Real Estate investment company ( investorloft.com )–which is anything but a dead end job—or turn the Nations of the world up through vertical worship, prayer, and the presence of God. Now, many Christians are called to transform their work places. But I have a choice. At the moment I work and only do a mediocre job because I’m taking all sorts of days off and short days for meetings, and BURNs, and taking weeks to almost entire months off to travel and contend for nations; by doing this I’m only giving 35% to my vision and dream that God has placed upon my heart—and there by failing to excel in either area. I need to choose one dream in order for either dream to survive.
Like Dan I have had a choice to make: a safe and respectable career, or a crazy and stupid dream. I have chosen the foolish thing, and I’m confident that Dan is going to ultimately choose his dream and calling of music over medical school.
Choose one dream and one focus. Be great at what you do.
