Seeing and Hearing

Seeing and Hearing when Poisoned: Part 4 of 5 November 30, 2008

I have been talking about poison (whispers and lies) and how to still see clearly and act rightly once poisoned by a person or people.

To refresh us all: Poison separates close friends. A wise man, Solomon, once wrote “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28).

In the last post I suggested that we need to be able to drink both cups of poison and still survive. We cannot just always chose to trust the person closest to us expecting to live. We need to have the ability to drink a cup of poison and survive, because is not always clear which story presented before you is trust worthy.

To survive poison we need to have a tolerance to the poison, meaning our bodies need to have a resistance built up so it will be able to neutralize the poison and flush it out of our system.

There are 3 easy steps that we can begin taking today to help us for tomorrow so that when we do come against a deathly situation we will already have the adequate preparation, habits, and skills built into our life.

1) Always Forgive. Forgiveness is vital to a healthy life. Forgiveness acts like our kidneys–it purifies the blood, ridding our body of toxins. If our kidneys fail we die. When we forgive we are telling the poison in our body that it doesn’t have authority (or permission) over our lives. When we carry unforgiveness we are metaphorically opening our cells to soak in the poison that is flow through our blood. If we forgive we are closing the doors to the effects of the poison.

This doesn’t mean that we won’t have pain and it doesn’t mean just cutting the person out of our life. That is not forgiveness. Forgiveness tells our kidneys that we are getting rid of a toxin in our body so that it will not have a lasting result on our body. Forgiveness is identifying the assailant and instead of trying to destroy it with in the body, pass it through the body. And remember, the person isn’t the toxin, the lie and the offense is.

2) Extend Mercy. Don’t give people what they deserve (mercy). People often deserve to be cursed at and kicked and left for dead–I mean lets just be honest people. But if we instead act merciful toward them then we will be acting in a righteous manner whether they have lie to us or not. Imagine if your close friend was honest and you–out of another man’s poison–lashed out in hurtful words and actions? That will leave a scar in your friendship even after the relationship is mended.

Now imagine that your friend did lie and deserved hell–but you didn’t give them what they even thought would be just? Will they not be humbled? Will they not see your kindness?  Will people not see that you, even when wronged, decided to look over the offense. Will that not be to your good standing and glory?

Such a characteristic in your life will make you resilient and will act as a coat of arms upon you, causing all accusation to fall to the ground, putting to shame all your accusers.

3) Extend Grace. Give people what they don’t deserve. Give people second chances. Give people trust. Give people kindness. Give people love. Grace enables people to walk in a manner that is upright.

If you create a grocery list of do’s and don’t in order to ensure your protection and respect the friend will be following that list out of obligation. The chances of them not being able to meet your standards and expectation will be high because they striving to perform based on an external motivation. If, instead, grace is extended–empowering the person to walk rightly instead of requiring them to perform–they will come into full stride of who they were born to be. With this kind of grace something inside of a person comes into full bloom. Now they will not be as likely to break your trust or hurt you because of the freedom with in the relationship that they now are able to walk in. They don’t own you something, they aren’t feeling guilty with shame, they are able to love. And love is a beautiful feeling. A person won’t cross you again because they now have a realization of the value of the relationship.