Seeing and Hearing

coffee with . . . Tina Hetzler December 19, 2008

I had the chance to grab coffee with Tina Hetzler this week and was compelled to share a few thoughts.

Tina Hetzler is not only an amazing person, but I have the pleasure of having her as an amazing friend. I’ve known Tina for three years. We met at a church called Scum Of The Earth through a small group named The Immaculate Sandwich—where we would simply make a sack lunch and walk up and down Colfax (a main/shady street in Denver Colorado) handing out food to the hungry and homeless, no strings attached. Tina and I would often walk and talk together, wrestling with this thing called life. There is a richness in our history and friendship that I often take for granted. Tina was one of a very select group of people who I had the privilege to run with each Sunday before church in sacrificial prayer. I can serious say, with tears in my eyes, that I am so honored to know and been able to labor along side of this faithful woman of God for these years.

This entry isn’t merely an accolade about the amazing Tina Hetzler. That said there is a particular character trait found in her that I haven’t noticed in many other people, and one that I have been trying to cultivate in my own life more: listening.

Tina listens like no one else I know. Many people don’t listen and just wait there turn to talk—a fear I am one of those people at times. Then there are people who hear but don’t have anything to say and are left with no read response or feed back because they didn’t really listen a truly don’t care. Many times that I have shared something of value with a person and I walked away in bewilderment with how they gave no response to what I shared, as if I just explained the molecular structure of a complex substance or was speaking in a different language. There have been other times where I have shared something and instead of deafening silence the person quickly responds shifting the subject without exerting effort into listening into what is being spoken. But Tina does neither.

Tina doesn’t only listen but she ponders what is said. Tonight, while walking along the Platte river a shared something in particular with her and she didn’t merely listen and comment but she listened and then once I was done speaking and the silence wisped between us she continued to listen to what I had said chewing, gnawing and digesting a few thoughts of mine. She did this for a few minutes, and afterward didn’t have much to say but said that she would respond at some later time. I don’t believe I have ever felt more listened to, and I want to learn to listen like Tina Hetzler.

She took my words and churned them over in her mind without rushing a response or avoiding the effort of one. Listening in this manner is truly a skill and a gift.